He always said the last part with a certain smile that promised he would make efforts not to intrude on my life since he knew I loved my work and had vowed to work until I fell in the grave.

Forty-four years old when I entered the state of matrimony, "togetherness" issues had peppered our early years. Now ten years later, I worried that Bob's constant presence at home would infringe on the space I had carved out for myself. An unabashed workaholic, from my home office, I wrote, served on several boards, and ran a broad range of arts programs for the Town of Greenburgh. I prided myself on my achievements during the day while he was out of my hair. In fact, I probably worked 40 hours for my 20 hour a week paid consulting job. I enjoyed every minute of it, but was afraid that if Bob saw how much work I really did, he would question my sanity.

"Give him six months and he'll be eager for part-time consulting work," my girlfriends said when I voiced my concerns to them. At first, I struggled with Bob's daily presence in the house, the background noises of phone calls, CD's, the TV, and the piano...his questions about my plans for the day, and his loud refrigerator forays in search of lunch. 

Now, it has been eight months since Bob retired. To my surprise, in this tenth year of marriage, we have rediscovered why we fell in love: we enjoy being together. At first, I resisted his invitations to join him when his Yoga teacher came, or to go with him to a movie matinee or off-peak visit to the hot tub or pool at Club Fit. Finally, I gave in to desire. Now we often exercise together at Club Fit, then have lunch on their outdoor deck. I still work a lot, but not as much as I used to, and Bob has fulfilled most of the things on his to do list. In addition, he does the grocery shopping and most of the laundry. I leave the housework for our cleaning lady. 

Sometimes, I'll join Bob on a routine trip to the drug store or cleaners or we'll watch House and Garden TV. I'm a whole lot happier, but I do feel a nagging sense of guilt about not undertaking as many new projects and saying no to people who ask me to do things with them and for them. My friends say that in six months or so, that guilt will pass. I hope so. In the meantime, I've embraced my husband's retirement, as much as he has. Can mine be far behind?